U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he fucked my hip out of place.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
