his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize