Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
