You're completely useless in the revolution.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
