i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
