my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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