remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
