just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
