Duck Duck Cougar?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
