mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
