Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
