1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
