Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
