smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
