I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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