he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
