I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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