I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The air was thick with penises
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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