he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
