sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All the doctor said was why
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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