Tell her she can't have a vagina
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
