Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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