I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
