Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
