brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
