That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
