New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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