i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
