I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it hurts more in the daytime
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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