Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
