There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
