yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
