What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
