Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
