do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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