accomplished twins. life is a go
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
