marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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