okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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