Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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