Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
