I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
