2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
