your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
