so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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