i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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