Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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