I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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