That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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