What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
