dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
