'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
