jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
