He is such a slut. More and more my type.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
