Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is wine microwaveable?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
