Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
