I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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