also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
