So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
