i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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