apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
