apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
